Author: Journey_Joburg

Ah, December. It’s that time of year again. The Christmas cheer is in the air and mouths are watering at the possibilities that the New Year will usher in (or if you’re anything like me, watering at the prospects of holiday-time feasts). Hopefully by now you’ve used last week’s blog post to help you navigate through your year-end function safely. If you haven’t had your end-of-year work party yet or haven’t checked out that article, give it a read here. If not, here are 5 tips to help you enter 2021 sober.

1: Set the Intention of Conquering December Sober!

This might seem obvious but one should not doubt the power of manifestation. Make a promise and commitment to yourself that you will come out the other side with your sobriety intact. If this step works for you, then you might be able to amplify its effects by making a pact with someone else in recovery so that you are also externally accountable!

2: Create a Periodic Check-In with your Recovery Mentor Figure.

Now, if you’re anything like me, you might be asking yourself what is a recovery mentor figure? How does one even earn such a title let alone find someone who bears it? If you don’t have a sponsor or addiction counsellor this role can be fulfilled by anyone in recovery that you admire and trust. Even if this person doesn’t have eons more clean time than you (a terrible measure of success in recovery in the first place), creating a daily/weekly appointment to speak to this person gives you a chance to offload if you’ve had a tough day or appreciate your strength and resilience if you’ve had a good one.

3: Reward yourself along the Way.

Whether its giving yourself a pat on the back with your ‘Recovery Mentor Figure’ (I’m trademarking this term) on the phone or gifting yourself something once the month of December is over, you need to incentivise yourself! More importantly, rewarding yourself is a perfect way to practice self-care, a pertinent tool in one’s recovery toolbox. Examples of longer-term rewards include setting aside money to purchase yourself that new coffee machine you’ve been eyeing. Shorter-term, more frequent rewards could be treating yourself to your favourite teatime biscuit at the end of the day (you’ll find me at Virgin Active in January) or watching an episode of The Queen’s Gambit. Keep it personal and actionable and you’re on the right path.

4: If Possible, Bring your Own Company to those Tricky Family Gatherings.

A sober companion would be ideal, but anyone who knows your struggle and is on your side will suffice. A friend’s presence alone makes most of life’s displeasures more bearable. Not only that, but troublesome family members and pesky family friends are less likely to pry and act out in the presence of someone relatively unknown to them. However, if your family is anything like mine, then this tip gets thrown out the window as they actually tend to increase their display of dysfunction in the presence of others. Your only hope then, is this last tip.

5: Set Boundaries and Always Choose yourself First

If the prospect of attending a certain event or gathering is plaguing you with anxiety and concern, don’t be afraid to make the decision not to go. Yes, you love your family members (and possibly even your in-laws) and they will certainly miss watching you squirm while your most embarrassing moments are relived for a good laugh, but your safety takes priority over EVERYTHING.

I repeat, your safety takes priority over EVERYTHING. Hopefully, the family members who matter will understand your decision not to attend a certain event. Those who don’t, don’t deserve an explanation.

If you, or someone you know, is facing a stressful upcoming December period, check out Journey’s social media pages (Facebook and Instagram). We post daily content centred on recovery that will certainly ease this difficult time. If this isn’t enough, feel free to reach out to Journey.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who felt that in some ways this year has been a blessing in disguise. Getting to wear comfy pants all day, being able to reflect and reassess on where my life is at and not getting invited to as many events where people would be getting sloshed all around me. No matter how far along my journey of recovery I have come, I still find myself uneased and unsettled when I am in an environment where getting intoxicated seems to be the sole purpose of its existence. Alas, all good things must come to an end. As restrictions are eased and get-togethers and events are happening more frequently, it’s likely that some year-end functions might still be happening at the end of 2020. Here are The Journey Team’s top tips for coming out of that party sober.

1. Let everyone (or even just someone) in attendance know that you are sober. This immediately creates a sense of accountability. By taking this step, you reduce the chances of being unnecessarily pressured into having a drink and you might even earn the respect of your colleagues. The effectiveness of doing this can be enhanced by explaining your reasons for choosing sobriety and (if you’re comfortable) sharing your past battles with substance abuse. If you can’t reveal your sobriety to your entire set of colleagues, try speaking to just one person you trust. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. More often than not, one trusted person can be willing to go the extra mile to help you out if they understand your circumstances. Ask them to stay close on the night if need be. Knowing that they’re nearby and they’re supportive of your decision can be a huge mental boost.

2. Create a post-function check-in with someone who is aware of your predicament. This “someone” could be your romantic partner, sibling, a parent, or a friend, anyone who knows about your sobriety efforts. If your function is scheduled to end at 23h00, ask this designated person to call you at 23h15. This again, creates a form of accountability. Knowing that you have to check-in with someone after this event will keep you grounded.

3. Ask someone (perhaps the same person from the point above) if you can call them during the event if you feel like you need support. As someone who has grappled with substance abuse and other mental health disorders, I know how dangerous and frustrating it can be to exist in your own head. I only realise this when I actually reach out to someone for help or advice. These disastrous and pessimistic situations that I’ve been playing around in my head for days on end quickly dissolve when spoken about in a conversation with someone else. With this in mind, having the failsafe of being able to call a trusted person to talk you through pressure or anxiety at a work year-end function can be an amazing asset in protecting your sobriety.

4. If you can, invite a plus one, if you can’t, ask if you can. Being able to bring somebody with who would help you through this pressuring time can be a lifesaver. Feel free to take anyone who is willing to standby you and support your decision to remain sober. This is the highest form of accountability you can create for yourself and if it’s possible, this should be prioritised. The presence of an external person can also reduce the “peer pressure” dynamic that can be found amongst work colleagues.

5. If it’s all too much, simply leave. As an addict, I know how difficult it is to navigate social situations. I always feel like I have to explain myself to everyone and go out of my way not disappoint anyone. Over time, I’ve learnt that these traits can endanger me severely. I implore you to put your safety first. If you are feeling unsettled, leave. If the pressure of the work function becomes unbearable, simply go home or somewhere else that is safe. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Please note that this list is not exhaustive. If you have any other tips, we’d love it if you shared them with us. The Journey Team trusts that you will have a peaceful and sober December and carry that same energy into the New Year.